


I know it ain't easy giving up your heart

by ppacespearb



Series: One & Only [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, I swear everything it's gonna be ok, Idiots in Love, M/M, The agnst part, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:53:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25896241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ppacespearb/pseuds/ppacespearb
Summary: Changbin woke up with his loud alarm. It took him some time to get rid of the torpor caused by the noise. He stretched and rubbed his face, arms searching for the other body that was supposed to be by his side. Nothing but blankets. "Jinnie?" He got up, eyes getting used to the morning light. The answer came in a notification on his phone.orHyunjin is running away.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Series: One & Only [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1879225
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	I know it ain't easy giving up your heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [leefrecklix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leefrecklix/gifts).



> hi, again!   
> as i said, it’s my first work in english.
> 
> this is the second part! (2/3)
> 
> oh! and you may want to check the playlist: https://tinyurl.com/y35jr29f

Maybe his lungs were finally asking for redemption, something was really heavy in his chest, head spinning, a tickling in his nose and eyes bothered by the sunlight surpassing the curtains. Things really delayed to built up in Changbin’s mind. 

It was not something in his chest. It was a someone. 

His blonde and naked best friend. 

Changbin almost freaked out. For a few seconds he thought that one was Felix, however nothing there was like Felix except for the colour of the hair. The smell and delicate skin of Hyunjin’s arms, perfectly coiled over him, like they were meant to be attached like that. “Oh shit.” He sighed, being struck by the memories of last night. Jin whined, stretching, moved his head getting able to look to the man bellow him, his eyes got wide. “What the fuck.” He raised up his torso, noticing his naked body over the blankets. “What the fuck.”

“Hey.” Bin smirked, voice sleepy and soft, almost giggling, finding Hyunjin’s reaction incredibly cute. He sat, coming closer to his best friend, looking over the mess he was: messy hair, pouty red lips, hickey marks and bites all over his chest. And Changbin himself wasn’t much different. He put Hyunjin's hair behind his ear, thumb caressing the mole beneath his eye. “Are you ok?” Then asked. Hyunjin blinked fast, several times, trying to process the bunch of information in his mind. His head and stomach aching like hell. “I might throw up.” 

Changbin couldn't help but laugh. “Was I that bad?” 

Hyunjin made a confused expression, failing to understand at first what his best friend meant. “Oh.” He gave a stinging slap on Bin’s shoulder, only making him chuckle more. “That’s not what I’m talking about!” Changbin’s giggles were contagious. Dissipating the tension on his body.  _ You were perfect. _ He only thought, not voicing it. Bin approached, pressing a soft quick kiss in Jin’s temple. “Maybe we should take a shower, huh?” 

The youngest didn’t think that it was a inviting request. Realizing it only when Changbin stared at him completely naked by the bedroom front door. “Are you not coming?” Hyunjin shivered a little, trying not to pay too much attention at Binnie’s butt. 

Impossible.

They had seen themselves naked countless times when they were kids, even took countless baths together. But now it was pretty different. Now both of them had a morning boner and fresh memories of how hard they fucked last night. By the way, they were trying to ignore it. 

“Let me wash it.” Bin put his fingers in Hyunjin’s blonde hair, turning him around, Jin bent a little, making it easier for the short one to scrub and clean the strands. Changbin made a real effort to not think with his dick, but with Jinnie's muscled back, shoulders, and ass full of soap, it was a quite hard thing. He rubbed his digits through his best friend’s hair, let them slip until he found Hwang's neck, he stroked there and kept going through the spine, massaging it. His hands palmed the youngest’s waist, pulling him closer, his lips touching the soaked skin of his back. _ It wasn't wrong, right? _ They were two single attractive grow up men. Ok, they were best friends, but that just made things easier, right? They knew the boundaries, it would never ruin their friendship.  _ Right?  _

It could be right. 

**_If Changbin wasn't the love of Hyunjin's life since he knew what love meant._ **

Hyunjin could have said no. He could get out of Bin's touches, just leave and say that a one night stand was enough, just like Seungmin did. But he couldn't. He was already melting with Changbin’s kisses. Wanting more. Almost begging for more.  _ Why was he like this? Why was he so weak when Seo Changbin was the matter?  _

The questions disappeared as well as his sanity as the other turned him around, pressing him against the wall, taking down his chin with the thumb and capturing his mouth. Tongues twisting, rough breaths. 

The only thing Hyunjin wanted at the moment was that lazy morning sex in the shower. 

He would think about the consequences later. 

_ Or not. _

.

.

.

"You really don't need to worry about it. Let's just order something, Jin. It's almost 3pm on a Sunday." Changbin said, he was smoking at the balcony, only wearing loose black shorts. His best friend was making loud cookware noises at the kitchen. "Did you really live eating just instant noodles?" Hyunjin was trying to keep his head occupied, searching for anything that could hold his attention. 

Bin finished his cigarette, going inside, he crossed his arms over his exposed chest. "Jinnie." Hyunjin looked at him. His blonde hair was still a little wet, he was wearing one of Changbin's large hoodies, that was almost getting to his knee, covering his briefs. “What?” He was shrinking like a cat as Changbin approached. “My stomach is almost dead, please let’s just order something and cuddle on the couch waiting for it.” Bin pouted like a child. 

_ Why wasn't Hyunjin able to say no to him?  _

.

.

.

The yakisobas barely arrived and they had already devoured everything, not a single leftover left. They ended up cuddling on the couch, watching for the hundredth time one of Bin’s favorite trash horror movies: Freddy vs Jason. “It shouldn't be this funny.” Hyunjin’s head swayed, he was laying down on Changbin’s belly, and it was shaking with his giggles. Hwang was unable to count on his fingers how many times that situation had been repeated in their childhood. Him, hugging Changbin like that, watching something stupid. But at this point, in that specific evening, there was something strange about them. Especially when he couldn't help himself from climbing looking for Bin’s lips. Changbin squeezed him with one arm, his free hand played with the blonde strands of Hyunjin’s hair. “Jin.” He pulled away a little, looking deeply into his eyes. Their mouths were swollen and red. He touched Jinnie’s dimple softly with his thumb. “There is nothing going on here, right?” He started, trying to read the youngest's expressions. Already knowing his best friend long enough to recognize how deep he got into things. “Like…” 

“What could supposedly be going on here?” Hyunjin stood up abruptly. Head spinning around. Heart racing. Maybe he couldn’t breathe anymore.  _ Calm down. _ “Nothing, just…” 

“Exactly. Nothing. There’s nothing going on here.” 

“Right… So… Where are you going?” Changbin asked, watching his friend move further and further away from the couch. “Anywhere. Just wanna go to bed. You should do the same. You work tomorrow, don't you?” But he left no chance for an answer, walking quickly to the bedroom. Leaving an alone and confused Binnie in the living room.

.

.

.

Changbin woke up with his loud alarm. It took him some time to get rid of the torpor caused by the noise. He stretched and rubbed his face, arms searching for the other body that was supposed to be by his side. Nothing but blankets. "Jinnie?" He got up, eyes getting used to the morning light. The answer came in a notification on his phone. 

Jinnie ✨: i'm on minsungs. dont get worried just dont want to bother u. love u. see u on the weekend. 

He typed very fast:

BinBinnie🐰🐖: wtf. weekend? ur kiddin right? we need to fix your daisy tattoo. stop being a weirdo. love u. im waiting for u at the parlor. 

.

.

.

Saturday came. Changbin reached Minsung's, carrying two packs of beer cans and rang the doorbell. 

Hyunjin was really avoiding him. He got that since the end of the Sunday evening. And Bin was the least patient person to deal with this kind of behavior. But, he just let him. If Hyunjin didn’t want to talk about it and act like nothing ever happened it was ok for him. It was ok enough. 

_ Then why was he thinking about it twenty four hours a day since Monday morning? _

"Welcome to the love nest." Han opened the door, smiling bright. The house was not very big, however, it was neatly arranged. Just perfect enough for Jisung, Minho and their three cats. Talking about it, the orange one curled up on Changbin's heel. "Hi Soonie." He bent over, petting the animal's head. "Sorry for being this late, I was finishing a full back work." He felt like he needed to explain, even though he was always late. "We are not that drunk yet, you didn't miss much." Minho came, helping the short man with the drinks. 

Changbin's eyes crossed the room, finding Hyunjin. He was sitting on Jeongin's lap, laughing at something that Felix was saying. Jin looked away, again avoiding him. And was pretty much like that for the entire night. 

Until a drunk Changbin got so sick and tired of that bullshit. 

"Hyunjin." He called up. "Can we talk?" His best friend was on the couch in front of him, head on Jisung's shoulder. The rest of their friends had just left and Hyunjin was also drunk. He looked at Changbin's eyes for the first time on that night. "Talk about what?" His voice had a bratty tone that was never used when he talked to the older. "Can we go outside?" Binnie was not loosing his patience.  _ Yet _ . "Why? For you to say that nothing’s going on here?" 

_ What the fuck was Hyunjin talking about? _

"You still in this shit?" Now he was losing it. "I just wanna understand what the fuck it's going on. Did I do something wrong? You never act this weird." 

"No you didn’t. And there's really nothing going on." Hyunjin left the couch. He wanted to get as far away as possible from Changbin, but the older held one of his wrists. "I'm not leaving and not letting you leave until you tell me about what are you acting so hysterical about." 

Hyunjin laughed. He _ really _ laughed.

"So now I'm hysterical." 

"That's not what I said." 

"So what did you say, Changbin? What the fuck did you just say?" 

"Guys…" Jisung tried to catch their attention. 

"Are you really acting like this just because we fucked?" He shouldn't have talked like this, but words just slipped through his mouth. An "Oh shit." Coming from Han.

The expression on Hyunjin's face was one of pure pain, as if he had been punched, and he would’ve preferred one.

"Do you really wanna know why I'm acting like this? Are you really worried about someone you just fucked and threw out like a piece of trash? Like you just do with every person in your life?" 

"Are you listening to yourself? You are just being pathetic, Hyunjin." Changbin was confused and too angry to measure his words. Not being able to understand what Jin was trying to say was driving him mad. "Yeah. That's it. I'm hysterical and pathetic. So why don't you just leave me alone?" 

"I'M NOT LEAVING YOU ALONE BECAUSE I'M NOT GETTING WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT BY THROWING ALL THIS CRAP ON ME." 

He never in his life screamed at Hyunjin like this. 

Jinnie was tearing up, voice breaking. "Do you wanna know why am I acting like this? I'm acting like this because I'm so fucking tired, Changbin. So fucking tired of you." He almost yelled, trying to hold back his tears, failing miserably. "I'm so fucking tired of you being in every piece of my memory. I'm so sick of not knowing how life is without loving you. Because I've been in love with you ever since I knew what being in love with someone is."

The reality of those words hit Changbin so hard that he needs to lean on something. He opens his mouth, only to shut it again. "See? That's how you react when reality comes to you. And I'm the pathetic and hysterical one, right?" Hyunjin smirked.

"You’re not being fair." Bin nearly whispered. "Yeah. Life isn't. Love isn't." The youngest wiped his own tears was still angry, frustrated, broken. "Felix was lucky to have you be that needy for almost five years." 

Changbin only realized that he grabbed Hyunjin's collar when Minho and Jisung held him. "CHANGBIN!" They pushed him back, getting his hands off Jin. "What the fuck, dude?" Han continued to hold him until Minho took Hyunjin away. "Did you know that?" Seo’s head throbbed. 

_ Were those tears on his cheeks?  _

"Bin, you should leave.” Jisung had a hard time convincing him to go away, but succeeded after insisting that he could talk to Hyunjin the next day, when they were both sober. He went back after making sure that Changbin was inside the Uber.

The scene that he found on his bed was heartbreaking. 

The taller skinny blonde was shrunken like a ball, being supported by Minho's arms, the sobs were loud, shoulders were shaking, Han never imagined that someone could be able to cry that much. “Jinnie…” Jisung had always known about Hyunjin's feelings for Changbin, maybe he was the only one who really knew. “Jinnie, please, talk to us.” He sat on the bed, petting his friend's back, Hyunjin only curled up more. Minho nodded, a sign to leave him as he was, kissing the top of his head. 

It seemed like Hyunjin would never stop crying. 

Jisung ran to the kitchen, bringing a bottle of water when he returned to the room. “Jin. I know, right? We know that you don’t wanna talk about it right now, but at least drink this and let’s just lay down and try to rest, huh?” Hyunjin’s eyes were barely able to open, red and swollen from too many tears. Han had to put the water on the boy's lips, as if he were a baby. He was still sobbing and trembling. The couple didn’t mind putting him between them, covering the three of them, the cats also joining it.

Jinnie continued to shake until it was five in the morning.

.

.

.

Three days had passed. And it was as if the world was upside down. 

Hyunjin and Changbin didn’t talked to each other ever since. Binnie tried, he really insisted the next day, calling, even showing up at Minsung’s house, just finding out that his best friend had left earlier than expected, returning to his parent’s house, intending to stay there until the end of the vacation. His friends attempted to convince him to stay, but he needed his dog and family more than ever.

And that was the second day that Changbin wasn’t answering his phone. Not responding a single message. Making his friends freak out. 

“He is not in the parlor.” Seungmin thanked the girl at the counter, holding the phone to his ear. “Chaeyoung said he asked her to clear his entire schedule by the end of the month.” 

“This is worse than I thought.” Jisung was at the other line. “At least when he and Felix broke up we could still find him at work.”

“Is he not answering even Felix calls?” 

“No. Maybe we should call his sister.” 

“His sister will tell us to call Hyunjin. And I don't think that it's a good idea to let his family know that the matter is Hyunjin.”

"I'm driving to his apartment, I will pick up Jeongin in college, wanna come?" Seungmin was already in his car. "I don't think I can leave the coffee shop right now, but want me to call Chan and Felix? I can ask them to meet you there." 

"Right. Thanks, Sungie." 

"Keep me updated, please. Minho and I will go as soon as I leave here and he gets out of the vet clinic." 

"Ok. Bye." 

.

.

.

"He is not answering the door, but I'm pretty sure that I heard the television." Felix said, Chan and him were standing at Bin's front door when Seungmin and Jeongin arrived. "For fucks sake, why is he like this?" Jeongin punched the door hard. "ASSHOLE. OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR OR WE'LL BRING IT DOWN AND WE'RE NOT PAYING TO FIX IT." 

"The neighbors will kill you." Chan held back a chuckle. "Binnie, bro, please. We only wanna see if you are ok. Then we’ll leave, I swear." 

"Bin, baby, we're not leaving until you answer this door. Wanna us to call your sis?". Felix tried again. Maybe the sister card would work. "We know that you are upset but it's not fair let us in the dark like this, jerk." Seungmin's turn. 

There were key sounds at the door. 

Changbin didn't open it, so they pushed it and walked in. 

The weed and beer smell was disgusting. The four guys flinched their noses. 

"Holy shit." Jeongin tripped over one of the dozens of cans and bottles scattered on the floor and watched Changbin almost fall before reaching the couch. “Ok, that’s is so much worse.” Seungmin left a sigh. “Bin…” Felix almost teared up, getting closer to his ex, he dated Changbin for at least four entire years and never saw him like that. The man was only in briefs, eyes red, head down trying to lit up a bong, his fingers tried to light the lighter, but it failed. “I don't think he ate anything in those two days.” Chan whispered, approaching. “See? M alright.” Changbin giggled and then pouted. “But weeds over. Need more.” He threw the bong away, trying to get up again, losing the strength in his legs. Felix and Chan held him. “Binnie. We’re here to help you. We’re gonna get you sober, ok?!”

“No!!!! M fine. Swear.” Bin was not able to form complete sentences being too stoned and drunk. “Leave me alone!!!!” Under normal circumstances he would easily get rid of his friends' grip. “Changbin.” Felix caught his attention. “This is not you. We know you’re sad. But that’s not how you're gonna deal with this, huh?”

“I want Jinnie.” He murmured. Eyes tearing up. Leaving his body weight in his friends arms. “We know. But we're gonna talk and try to solve this when you get fed, sober and rested, ok?” 

.

.

.

“Where is he?” Minho asked, Jisung by his side, they went to Changbin's apartment after work. “This place smells like weed.” Han remarked. “He is asleep. I don’t think he will wake up today. But I’m afraid to leave him alone.” Felix showed his concern, him and Chan were on the small couch, the other two sat on the floor. “Did he manage to say anything?” Lino observed the room. “He was not even able to say two coherent words.” Chan pulls Felix closer by the waist, resting his face on the blonde's shoulder. “Where’s the carpet?” 

“It was nasty, we almost threw it away.” Seungmin looked tired. He and Jeongin cleaned the entire apartment while Felix and Chan took care of Changbin. “So, we’re gonna sleep over or something?” Minho asked. “Maybe we should order something.” Han gave the idea. “Or maybe we should call Hyunjin and ask him to stop being a jackass and make them talk.” They shared a look at Jeongin’s sentence. “I really don’t know how we’re gonna deal with is. Like… I don’t even know what to say.” Felix shrugged. “When I started dating Bin he was just like “and that’s my best friend Hyunjin, he comes in the package.” I even felt jealous at first. But then I got used to it.”

“So everyone here knew about Hyunjin's feelings or a least had an idea about it, except for Changbin himself?” Chan chortled. “I thought he got over it when Changbin and Felix started dating, but apparently not.” Jisung scratched his own hair. He and Minho had sat on the floor next to Jeongin and Seungmin, who spoke: “That’s so hard. We can’t do anything about it. Only the two of them can clear it out and solve things.” 

Suddenly they heard quick footsteps from the bedroom to the bathroom.

And then a sound of someone throwing up. 

The six of them sighed, tired. “Yeah, fuck it, we should order something. It’s gonna be a long night.” 

.

.

.

It had been fifteen days. Changbin looked at his cell phone again. Nothing. Not a single call or message. He was still blocked on all social networks, there was nothing he could do to get any information about how Hyunjin was, except looking at his mother's facebook or asking his friends, but they all tried to circumvent him when he asked about Jin. He felt empty, like things didn't make sense anymore. Getting to understand why Jinnie felt so tired of having him always on his mind.

_ It was because it hurt so freaking much not to have him.  _

Changbin was no longer drinking that much, and his friends got rid of all the weed, watching and making sure he wouldn't do any shit. And there was nothing he could do to help himself feel less broken. 

Even working with what he loved didn't help. 

He looked at the gray walls, he was waiting for the next customer, sterilizing the room, and he bumped into one of the photo frames that stood with his Best BlackWork Artist trophy. Changbin almost smirked looking the picture. Sad eyes, he sniffed. The picture was him and Hyunjin on their moms laps, smiling brightly to each other. Jinnie was so cute with his large dimple. 

Seo left the room looking for Chaeyoung. “Chae.” The girl was at the counter, looking at her phone. "Yeah, Bin?" She didn’t look at him. 

“Can you make a note to not schedule anything for the 19th, 20th and 21st of March? I have plans.”

**Author's Note:**

> i swear i don't want to break anyone's heart! and that's it, don't forget to check the last part!!!
> 
> you can also follow me on twitter: @ppacespearb
> 
> if you like it, please comment! if you don’t like it also comment, i like constructive criticism!!


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